Greg Lindberg

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Random Rants: The Constant Pillow Fight at Hotels

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We all know that traveling can be stressful. From long car rides in unfamiliar vehicles to going through security at the airport and putting up with last-minute gate changes when flying, it’s usually never simple to get from one destination to another. So, when you arrive at a new place for business or pleasure, you probably will be tired, antsy, and a little anxious.

Taking a trip can also mean staying in hotels. Whether you’re budgeting for a room at Motel 6 where they’ll leave the light on for you or you have some money to drop at the Hilton, it’s almost always a guarantee that you’ll have a pillow fight on your hands. No, I’m not talking about actually fighting your brother or significant other with pillows in the hotel room (unless you’re into that). Rather, I’m referring to battling with the pillow itself all night.

It seems as if there are absolutely zero hotels that exist on our vast planet offering comfortable pillows. A pillow might be too firm. It might be too lumpy. It might be too soft, too small, or just plain weird in texture. This means tossing and turning in order to find the most obscure angle at which to position your head and neck in order to feel a fraction of comfort while you try to catch some z’s.

Many hotels will also put four pillows on one bed, presumably assuming that their guests might be interested in stacking two pillows together or using one for leg or back support. In theory, this gives guests a little more flexibility, but it certainly doesn’t help most sleep. Two lumpy pillows are just as ridiculous as one.

It’s also worth mentioning that if I have the opportunity and space to do so, I’ll drag my own pillow with me on a trip, generally if it’s only a car ride away. Unfortunately, this isn’t really an option if you are flying and attempt to stuff a large pillow into an already jammed-packed suitcase.

I don’t like arguing, let alone fighting, with anyone or any object. When I’m out of town, I look for any comforts I can find. I’m still waiting for the day when I won’t have to put up a fight with such an inane item like a pillow one day when I’m just trying to get enough rest for my marketing conference for work or tour of Alcatraz the following day. If a hotel could promise this, I’d be the first one at their front desk checking in and swiping my key card to let me into a room of comfort.

Random Rants: Sneezes are as Unique as Snowflakes

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When I was a junior at Palm Harbor University High School, I had a physics teacher named Dr. Wilson. He was a bit of a quirky gentleman (but aren’t all high school physics teachers?), and it was something he said that really stuck with me. The funny thing is that it had nothing to do with physics at all – or certainly was not part of the curriculum but, now that I think about it, could be tied to physics in some way.

One day, somebody sneezed in our class. It must have been a loud one that caught everyone’s attention in the middle of a lecture. Dr. Wilson and some of the students were quick to “bless” the sneezer, but that wasn’t the end of the acknowledgement as it normally would be. Instead, Dr. Wilson spent a minute or two talking about sneezes. He talked about how differently some people sneeze, from a very soft-sounding sneeze that might be confused for a cough to a very violent sneeze that is practically alarming to those around the culprit and could literally cause an injury to one’s neck.

This one quick discussion got me thinking about a few things. Obviously, males and females seem to have noticeably different sneezes. The same can be said about younger kids compared to older individuals. Some people only sneeze once or twice during an “attack,” while others can keep the “sneezin’ mo-jo” going for more than just a split second.

I sometimes wonder how someone’s sneezes and personality stack up. Are “violent” sneezers who put their whole body into this natural event generally louder, more boisterous individuals? Are those who hardly make a peep typically soft spoken and fall into the category of introverts? Based on my observations, it doesn’t seem like you can draw a perfect line between a person’s sneeze and their overall characteristics. I’ve met some people who constantly use an “outside voice” whose sneezes are barely detectable. On the flipside, I know of those whose voices can barely be heard but can let loose with the best of them when sneezing.

This is why in my view, sneezes are like snowflakes. Each human being has a slightly different sneeze. Whether it’s a loud “ahh-choo” or a modest squeak, it is fascinating how this human reaction to various conditions can vary so much.

So, the next time you hear someone sneeze, do a quick mental evaluation to see if you expected or were surprised by the sound they made. There’s a good chance you’ll be surprised.

Am I Too Young – Or Too Old – To Eat That?

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While attending a recent weeklong convention out of town, restaurant menus became a major source of reading material for me. As such, I was reminded about age-specific foods that our society seems to dictate. In other words, there’s a kids’ menu and a regular menu at many eateries. There are also other foods you’ll find throughout the grocery store that seem to fall under different categories as being more acceptable for youngsters to eat and those that adults primarily consume. Here are some examples:

FOODS FOR KIDS

  • Lunchables
  • Macaroni and cheese
  • Chicken or fish fingers
  • Cheese pizza
  • Hot dogs
  • Happy Meals
  • String cheese
  • Lucky Charms
  • Eggos
  • Pop Tarts
  • Cocoa Puffs
  • Hamburgers
  • French fries
  • – Mozzarella sticks

FOODS FOR ADULTS

  • Salmon
  • Supreme pizza
  • Filet mignon
  •  Eggplant parmesan
  • Caviar
  • Vegetarian lasagna
  • Squash
  • Wild rice
  • Avocados
  • Fiber One cereal
  • Ensure
  • Bananas Foster
  • French onion soup

– Tiramisu

Our society certainly defines lots of things. But why should we let it define the foods we consume in our daily diets? If I were a 10-year-old kid, why couldn’t I enjoy a healthy serving of salmon with lemon butter? Or, as an adult, why can’t I go a little crazy on a bowl of Lucky Charms soaked in chocolate milk? Yes, I’ve always been somewhat of a picky eater. However, it kind of irks me when someone grabs something out of the fridge that is not necessarily catered to them in terms of marketing or, perhaps more importantly, in terms of how society thinks people should consume certain food items based on a birth certificate. I can assure you that any food manufacturer does not care who is purchasing their delicious delectable.

Review: Priceless Memories by Bob Barker

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Ever since I can remember, I have always adored and admired Bob Barker, the longtime game show host and animal rights activist. I finally had a chance to listen to Barker’s Priceless Memories, an autobiography he wrote and narrated in audio form back in 2009.

While I and millions of others mainly remember Barker for his 35 years hosting The Price Is Right, he also had an 18-year run at the helm of Truth Or Consequences. As this innovative show was on well before I was born, I enjoyed learning about it in the book. I had no idea about some of the crazy stunts Barker and the contestants pulled off on that show. This must have been groundbreaking television for the 1950s and ‘60s. Some of the things he made the contestants do were very outrageous, and I must say that this show was a precursor to Survivor, Fear Factor, and countless other reality shows of the 2000s.

He also spends a good amount of time talking about his late wife, Dorothy Jo. He praises her with beautiful words and reiterates throughout the book about how much of a support system she was in his life. When I think of ol’ Bob, the unfortunate allegations made by several former Price models come to mind. But hearing him talk about his wife really speaks volumes about how much he cared about her. She was not even 60 when she died of lung cancer in 1981. It’s hard to believe how long Barker has been a widower since then, especially considering he and Dorothy Jo first met in high school in 1939.

Of course, The Price Is Right is a major part of the book as well. Hearing about all of the behind-the-scenes aspects of the show is pretty fascinating. As an aspiring contestant, I was also glad to hear Bob speak about how people are chosen to become contestants. His biggest piece of advice is for someone to be themselves. If you try to act like someone you are not in order to get attention, the contestant coordinators will immediately identify you as a fake, and you probably won’t be called to “come on down” at all.

Barker includes a ton of cool tidbits about his career throughout the book. He actually received an offer to star in a porn movie – back in the 1950s! I didn’t even know such material was being produced back then, but I guess I shouldn’t be terribly surprised. I just have to wonder what it would be like if a 60-year-old video of Bob Barker were to be dug up and available for viewing on YouTube today. I can only imagine how he’d feel, and it obviously makes perfect sense why he turned down the offer back then.

Animals are certainly at the forefront of the autobiography as well. Barker recounts numerous stories of dogs and cats that he and his wife saved – and took in as pets – over the years. I salute the man for the tremendous work he has done in the animal rights space. Encouraging viewers to have their pets spayed and neutered was only a bite-sized piece of the work he has done on this front.

Finally, it was neat to hear of Barker’s childhood. He grew up in South Dakota and later in Missouri. He is part-Native American, and he talks about how he was viewed as a child among his peers with this background. He speaks of his parents and how his dad died at a very young age. He talks about his mother’s significant impact on his life – and how she lived with him in her golden years.

Overall, Priceless Memories truly humanizes a man who for so long has only been known by his work in front of a TV camera. I appreciate Bob Barker more than ever now after listening to his well-told life story.

8 Reasons I Love “The Price Is Right”

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Ever since I was a youngster in elementary school, I’ve always been in love with The Price Is Right. I plan on attending a taping of the show, and I don’t know how loud I’d scream if announcer George Gray were to yell out, “Greg Lindberg, come on down!”

These are the top reasons I have had a lifelong love affair with this classic, long-living CBS game show that has dominated daytime TV for decades:

1. The sound effects

I’ve always been a bit of a sound effects nerd – or maybe more than a bit. I love cool sounds, and there are plenty to go around on this show. From the upbeat dings when contestants win an item up for bids or one of the showcases, to the infamous loser horn when guessing a wrong price, I can’t get enough of these sounds. Most sounds have also remained the same for the entire duration of the show.

2. The music

The “come on down” intro music really gets me pumped. But when those horns start playing that theme music every American should know by heart, it really hits home for me. I loved the originalversion of the theme (Bob Barker era), and I might even like the updated jive-y version since 2007 a bit better. Despite its stuck-in-your-head-all-day reputation, I do enjoy the mountain climber music in the “Cliff Hangers” game as well.

3. The host(s)

I absolutely adored Bob Barker when he was the host. Despite all the claims against him from the models, he walked on water in my eyes. Perhaps it’s the fact that I’m an ‘80s baby – and that Bob was always like a grandpa figure to me – that I loved watching him so much. I truly admired his longevity as the host of a nationwide television show. I really think he could’ve continued hosting for a few more years, and I was in awe to see him – at 91 – host one game for the April Fool’s episode earlier this year.

As for Drew Carey, he has grown on me tremendously. He had a rough start gaining his footing as host, and he’s been criticized for not being overly excited when contestants win big. However, he has gotten so much better. I am very grateful he remains the host, and I hope he’ll be on for more than a fraction of Bob’s 35-year tenure.

4. The contestants

Reality television did not officially launch its genre with Survivor in 2000. It all started in 1972 when The Price Is Right debuted with Bob Barker. The contestants on this show truly make it a joy to watch. You see all ages – from college freshmen to some 99-year-old contestants I’ve seen take the stage. You also see all personalities. I can’t get enough of screaming, excited, crazy, host-lifting contestants who’ve waited for years to bid $1 or spin the big wheel. I also adore the clever shirts and attire that seem to pop up on almost every episode.

5. The prizes

The phrase “A new car!” has been ingrained in my head ever since I can remember. While cars are the most popular prizes, the trips to hot spots around the world can be fascinating as well. Additionally, I always like seeing the innovative kitchen appliances and creative food items that appear in some of the games. You certainly have to laugh when a guy wins a female-specific prize – or vice versa.

6. The games

Maybe I’m not the sharpest tack in the box, but some of the games on this show are confusing to me. By the time a game is played, I sometimes ask myself, “What just happened?” Fortunately, most of the games are easy to follow and fun to watch. I especially like “Plinko,” “Hole in One,” “Cliff Hangers,” and “One Away” – the game where the contestant asks the famous “sound effects lady” how many numbers he or she has correct in the price of a car. Of Course, “Golden Road” can also be quite dramatic.

7. The big wheel

The sound of that big wheel spinning is music to my ears. It’s always so much fun to see when a contestant gets so close to earning $1 on the wheel – or getting a score that is just enough to win the “Showcase Showdown.” Nothing is better than seeing someone win $1,000 and then get to spin for a boatload of cash.

8. The longevity

I’m a history buff at heart. I love watching classic game shows like Match Game or What’s My Line? before I jump onto Wikipedia to see when these episodes aired – and if anyone on these shows is still kicking. The same goes for my historic fascination of The Price Is Right. While it had a 9-year original run in the 1950s and ’60s with Bill Cullen, Its current incarnation is by far the longest-running game show in American TV history. It’s been on so long that four or five generations in a family have been able to watch it. So much changes in our world on a regular basis, especially with technology these days. But when there’s a constant in your life like this game show, it just makes you feel good to tune into a program that you’ve watched your entire life while enduring the ups and downs that we all experience. If this show ever goes away, I honestly don’t know how difficult it’ll be for me to take it. CBS at 11 a.m. would never, ever be the same.

Shaq Gets Dissed by Former NBA Star

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NBA great Shaquille O’Neal has been retired from professional basketball since 2011. But it appears as if a former fellow star is not hesitating to “dunk” on the big man as the two try to enjoy their retirements off the court while reflecting on their impactful careers.

Vlade Divac, a former star center for the Sacramento Kings, recently stated that Shaq was only “strong” but not actually “talented” during his 20-year career.

“I’ve been in basketball a long, long time and I have to say (DeMarcus Cousins is) the most talented big guy I have ever seen,” Divac said in a recent interview. “Shaq wasn’t talented, he was just strong. I was talented, but I wasn’t strong.”

Ironically, Shaq is now a minority owner of the Kings, which is Divac’s former team. He is technically his boss, too, as Divac remains involved with the Kings.

Who really has the guts to say anything negative about a future, first-ballot Hall of Famer in his retirement from a game he dominated for a good 10 or 12 years? Divac should let the 7-footer’s career speak for itself. Perhaps he is still holding a grudge due to Shaq’s playoff dominance over Divac in the NBA playoffs from 1999 through 2001 when O’Neal was a member of the Los Angeles Lakers.

Granted, Shaq was not the best free-throw shooter on the planet. He wasn’t terribly dominant in his final years in the league, either, but most athletes experience some decline. (Of course, he was certainly a much better athlete than actor, thanks to his below-average starring role in Kazaam.) There’s just no way you can legitimately make such a comment about one of the biggest household names in sports – and one of the most talented players to ever step on a basketball court.

Review: Diary of a Mad Diva by Joan Rivers (Audiobook)

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I have been a fan of the late Joan Rivers for many years. Even since her passing this past fall, I have consumed a generous amount of Rivers’ work – including her latest book, Diary of a Mad Diva. I decided to download the audiobook from iTunes as it is narrated by Rivers herself. You really can’t ask for a better combination of her writing and her incredibly funny presentation, can you?

I wasn’t sure what to expect before pressing, “Play” on my iTunes player. I wasn’t sure if it would be as funny to listen to this work, knowing she is no longer with us. However, she did not disappoint in the final long-form writing project of her career.

The book covers diary entries almost every day of the calendar year of 2013 in Rivers’ life – the year in which she reached age 80. Despite being an octogenarian, this text truly exemplifies how the legendary comedienne was definitely at the top of her game before her unexpected death following a routine  procedure on her vocal cord. While some of the diary entries are literally one or two sentences and others are a few paragraphs, she makes each one count.

Throughout the book, Rivers makes mention of the numerous plane rides she takes, primarily from her home in New York to Los Angeles and back. A common theme she goes with encompasses the various personalities she comes across on her numerous flights. From overly obese passengers to those who simply won’t shut up, she does a fantastic job of documenting the cross-section of humanity any frequent flyer would observe in the sky.

She also discusses her emotions in a way that truly demonstrates how an 80-year-old stage artist would feel – or at least someone as unique as Rivers was. She writes about getting depressed at times. She writes about the joys of performing in front of a receptive audience and having dinner with close friends. She talks about her daughter, Melissa, and her grandson, Cooper. You can really tell how much she cared about the two in her life, describing the “Grandma-grandson” trips she would take with Cooper every year.

As far as celebrities go, Rivers doesn’t hold back in this book just like in her standup routine and frequent appearances on Fashion Police. The Kardashians seem to be one of her favorite targets. I can only imagine what she’d have to say today about Bruce Jenner’s gender transformation.

It’s no secret Ms. Rivers had a foul mouth. If her language as a child was as filthy as it was in her adulthood, it’s amazing she still had a usable mouth if her mother washed it out with soap every time she dropped an “F bomb” or used the “C word.” This book is certainly not for the easily offended crowd. She actually used dirty words a little more often than I expected. But compared to the live show I saw her do in Clearwater, Florida just 6 months before her passing, I guess I shouldn’t be too taken aback. She also comes across as a true equal opportunity offender. From race to religion to sexual orientation, she goes after all groups with no hesitation. I absolutely loved this freewheeling, no-holds-barred attitude of hers in such a politically-correct world where censorship seems more prevalent than ever.
If you are looking for a funny read that won’t take too long to get through – or a 6-hour audiobook perfect for some long flights – Rivers is top-notch in the way she communicates her real-life, non-fictional adventures in Diary of a Mad Diva. I recommend it to anyone who loves the type of comedy Joan Rivers pioneered throughout her career. Consider downloading the audiobook to get the text’s full effect. It’s just a shame we could not have gotten a few more years out of her humorous yet brutally honest perspectives on life.

“Can You Hear Me Now?”: Why Is Cell Phone Call Quality So Bad?

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These days, we have smartphones that we can use to literally open doors and turn off lights in our homes from anywhere in the world. There are millions of apps that can help us accomplish countless tasks, some of which may blow your mind.

Yet cell phone call quality remains very average at best.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been talking to someone on my smartphone or attempting to hear someone talking to me on theirs, and I just can’t understand what they are saying. I listen closely. I press the phone up to my ear to the point where it hurts. I walk around and go outside. It still doesn’t help.

Even more frustration comes with inexplicable dropped calls. Cell towers are everywhere. I don’t live in the middle of nowhere, and I don’t talk to people in extremely rural places, either.

In 2014, why is cell phone technology this bad? I’m not talking about mobile technology in general. I’m referring to the quality of a phone call involving one or more cell phones. It absolutely baffles me that analog communication from 40 years ago is probably a hundred times better than the digital nature of a call transmitted via cell towers. Some people sound like robots, while others simply get hung up on because of a poor connection.

While technology continues to astound us in so many ways, some aspects of communication remain completely stagnant. All I want to do is carry on a meaningful conversation with a close friend or family member without having to repeat myself or ask the other person to do so. I am begging someone out there to improve this. Otherwise, we might as well reinstall all of the old landline phones in our homes – and put all those payphones back in malls across the country.

Ben Zobrist: A Humble All-Star

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Let’s face it: Ben Zobrist is not a household name. In all likelihood, he will never be one. However, Zobrist is an American League All-Star this year for the Tampa Bay Rays. And he has earned this honor once again in the most humble way.

Zobrist, a 32-year-old native of Eureka, Ill. is in New York to play in his second All-Star Game. His first selection to the Midsummer Classic was in 2009. This year, “Zorrilla” – as he’s affectionately known – is hitting .260 with 6 homers and 48 RBI. The numbers probably don’t jump out at you as being off the charts, but Zobrist is a key asset to the Rays’ success. He is listed as a second baseman, but he can play a variety of positions and is a switch-hitter at the plate. He comes through in big moments with clutch hits, although few specific ones are top of mind.

Perhaps the biggest reason for his All-Star selection is because of his versatility and the way he carries himself both on and off the field. He’s a classy guy who does the right thing without any fanfare. His faith might have a little something to do with that. In fact, in an interview on the Rays Radio Network, Zobrist said he hopes all of the “big-name guys” who made the AL and NL teams will get the long autograph lines so he can move through this process swiftly.

Now in his eighth season with Tampa Bay, Zobrist actually wore a Devil Rays uniform when he made his debut with the club on Aug. 1, 2006. This was Joe Maddon’s first season as manager. “Zorrilla” is currently the longest-tenured Ray on the team, and next year would mark his ninth with the club, matching only Carl Crawford for length of service with the franchise.

While Zobrist has achieved some notoriety as a major league player, his wife has also done the same in her own right. Julianna Zobrist is a Christian singer-songwriter who has gained a bit of a following in this musical niche. In fact, her husband’s walk-up song played at Tropicana Field when he gets up to bat is one of her better-known hits – “Behind Me.”

With the cameras zooming in on stars like Miguel Cabrera, Chris Davis, Justin Verlander, and Mariano Rivera Citi Field, Ben Zobrist will be there doing his thing – playing hard, giving it his all, and not wanting the attention. Some fans may have questioned why #18 was picked over Evan Longoria or another Rays player with better statistics. (Matt Moore was a late addition to the AL squad.) The fact of the matter is that Zobrist is a one-of-a-kind athlete who is refreshing to see in the midst of an egocentric sports culture. And you can’t help but root for good guys like him.

The power of a strikeout

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Since the voting results of Major League Baseball’s Cy Young Award winners were released today, it’s only fitting to write a blog post about the power of a strikeout in baseball.

A strikeout is like no other out in America’s favorite pastime. When a pitcher throws a sizzling 99-mph fastball or a nasty change-up that totally fools a hitter, it shows pure dominance of the pitcher over teh hitter. In many cases, a hitter will make a face, drop his bat, or even bark at the umpire about the location of the pitch. It’s also a great feeling for a pitcher to strike out a batter. Sending a batter back to the dugout via a strikeout is so much different than doing so any other way. Think about it. Is a slow grounder to the shortshop who then tosses to the first baseman really that upsetting? Is a pop fly into centerfield that disappointing for a hitter? The answer is probably not. But when it comes to being “caught looking” or swinging through a pitch and missing it, there is an added feeling of being on the short end of the stick – a feeling of losing the one-on-one matchup with the guy on the mound. It’s almost like a boxing match and getting knocked to the ground.

Another thing that shows the power of a strikeout is how much this statistic means to writers who vote for the best pitcher in each league. The Rays’ David Price won the Cy Young for the 2012 season in the American League. Price collected 205 strikeouts. Although this didn’t lead the league, it was a feat accomplished in just 211 innings, meaning he almost struck out one batter each inning in which he pitched. In the NL, R.A Dickey of the Mets took home the award and whiffed 230 batters in 233 innings. This “K” total was enough to lead his league, and many of these punch-outs came via his tricky knuckleball pitch.

The bottom line is that no hitter in baseball wants to step up to the plate and strike out. Hitters want to hit a home run, get on base, or at least get walked. The last thing they want to do is chase a nasty breaking ball or a dazzling fastball and have to face their teammates on the bench. I’ve never been in the cleats of a major leaguer, but from what I have observed, it’s got to be like a punch to the gut. The best way to get over this feeling is probably to get up to bat again and make up for it.